When Sh*t Happens - Navigating Doom

Prepare Mentally

When a bad situation first hits, there is a shock factor. Its one of those “I can’t believe this happening to me” or “Why is this happening to me” or the worst feeling, “I can’t believe I got myself in this situation.” Whatever the circumstances, whatever the issue is before us, there is a shock. Note, if that shock is caused by or connected by traumatic event, professional counseling might be in order. But in most cases, trauma is not part of the stress of our lives.

If we think of our lives as a play, movie or even a book, a difficult situation is like a bad scene or a bad chapter. Like a play, a bad situation is a bad scene.

Nothing lasts forever, nothing

Special forces and diplomatic officers are trained to deal with the ultimate bad scene in life – being taken hostage by a foreign power or terrorist group. Think about that, mentally, its worse than death, as you don’t know how that scene will end. The foundation of that mental strength is to constantly remind oneself that this will not last forever. No matter what happens, this will not last forever. So take a page from their play book and remember, your bad scene will not last forever. It will come to an end. As you work through your bad scene, always keep in mind, “This will come to an end.”

Gather Facts

The curtain goes up on the bad scene in your life, so what is the first action to take – gather facts. Chances are you are not the first person to be in that situation so begin fact gathering to assess how bad the situation is and how bad it can get. Fact gathering has steps, but not every step is relevant to every bad scene. If the bad scene is caused by something happening, the fact gathering has to be more detailed.

Write down the facts about what happened. No matter what happened to you, your memory will fade. Sure you will remember 95% of what happened, but that 5% can be important. Plus, writing down what happened will allow you to better process the situation and make a clearer judgement on future actions.
Second, talk to anyone who witnessed the event. Ask them what they remembered.
Third, gather any relevant documents. This includes social media and text messages. Use screensaver to save that information. Be sure to make copies of anything relevant and keep those copies in a safe place. Data on a computer or phone could get destroyed. If its important duplicate the storage.

Professional Advice

If the matter involves a legal issue, consult with an attorney to get an understanding of the law and how it applies to the facts of your situation. Do not trust the internet for legal advice. Legal advice is unique to each situation and to each individual.

Likewise, if it is a medical issue, consult with a medical professional, and if you can find a specialist, seek advice from the specialist. In the same vain as legal advice, do not trust the internet for medical advice. Get professional advice for a medical situation.

Inventory your resources

This step is one of the most important steps. Inventory your resources when confronted with a bad scene. We consider resources to be anything that helps. These include financial resources (money), relationships, energy, time, knowledge, attitude, and experience. Let’s discuss each one of these identifiable resources.

Financial Resources: Start thinking about what the bad scene is going to cost. Then look at your financial resources and ask yourself, “Do I have enough money?” If yes, then move on. Otherwise, you will need a separate plan for this shortcoming.
Relationships: Relationships are the most important asset during a bad scene whether they are personal, family or professional. They can offer various support. Relationships can also get us access to more resources. They could be a source of funds if there is a need to borrow money. They might be a source of knowledge, for example a relationship with a nurse might be handy when confronted with a medical situation. A relationship with someone who underwent a similar bad scene earlier in their life might help with experience and even knowledge.
Energy: Energy is both physical and emotional. Good health leads to energy. A bad scene requires us to do everything we can to preserve our energy and health. Look at yourself as a rechargeable battery. You want to apply your energy to deal with the situation and then recharge when you can. You don’t want anything sapping your energy. Stress might cause to turn to drugs or alcohol to lessen the pain of stress. But be careful, substances such as drug or alcohol only saps our energy and takes away a valuable resource. If a medical situation is the bad scene, try to everything you can preserve as much health as possible. Follow medical advice and if possible exercise, even if it is just a simple walk. Many therapsists will tell you its not exercise if you don’t break a sweat, but they ignore volumes of research that suggest a walk through nature is a simple way of relieving stress and of course preserving or recharging your battery. Energy is a critical resource during any crisis, and personal energy during a personal crisis is a critical resource. It should be used, metered and recharged when possible.
Time: When it comes to time, all of us will under estimate and under appreciate this asset throughout our lives. Imagine life without time – we just don’t exist. When in bad scene, time could be friend or it could be a foe. Time’s relationship to the situation is a critical assessment. In some bad scenes, time is limited and you need to react quickly. In others, you need to be patient and almost allow the situation to fix itself. Time also weakens any adversity. Over time, people grow tired and you should be in position to take advantage of their weariness if that bad scene persists. Is time an advantage in your situation? Can you sustain a prolonged bad scene or do you want it just to end and move on even if the result is not what is in your best interest? Time management can be critical in a bad scene and you had to decide how much time you will give it.
Knowledge: Do you have enough information about the situation to make intelligent and informed decisions, or are you going to need to research new information? If further research is necessary, how are you going to accomplish that?
Attitude: Is your attitude going to get you through this bad scene. We all need to adjust our attitude from time to time. You might need to adjust your attitude. Always try to think positive, look for the good things that you have in life.
Experience: Despite your life experience, you have never been here before. But your prior experience will help you make the decisions to get you through this situation.

Reach out to friend/families

Most likely you will find family and friends that will support you through a bad scene and you should consider them an asset. They could be a source of a small loan, someone to talk to, or other support depending on the situation. If they are good friends, they will not seek anything in return. But beware of social media “friends.” The average person has only four Facebook friends they can depend on in difficult times. Every once in awhile, it might be a good idea to inventory your friends. Determine the ones we can truly count on during a bad scene in our life.

Put together a plan

After some time passes, and you collect your thoughts, inventory your resources, think about what friends you can trust, its time to take action. A plan is a great way to start, and that plan needs to go down on paper. Some good thoughts about why to write down a plan can be found at 8 Powerful Benefits of Writing Things Down — Productive and Free. I think the most important point is that writing down your plan helps to clear your mind. Gives you the ability to think clearly, compartmentalize the bad scene in your life and move onto other aspects of your life while this chapter plays out. The plan should outline timeframes. Usually, a bad scene last longer than expected.

When you develop your plan, keep one thought in mind: Plan for the worse and hope for the best.

Now, Adjust the Plan as Necessary

Anyone who has served in the military knows any plan is a great plan until it meets the enemy. The same with a bad scene. Some of your friends or family you thought could help, will not be in a position to help or will otherwise refuse to help. Don’t be disappointed, accept the facts as they are and adjust. Anger against any individual only adds stress to a bad scene, which is already stressful enough. Expect the costs to resolve a matter to be higher than you thought. The plan will need to be adjusted, but the key to successful adjustment is to keep the goal in mind. Now that the plan has been tested by reality, how will it be adjusted to achieve the goal?

Damage control

The final step in dealing with a bad scene in life, is damage control. When we go into damage control mode, we first admit there’s going to be damage. Whether it is financial damage, damage to a relationship, or damage to our health, there is going to be some lingering effect. Once you realize the damage, you can begin to move forward. Things will not be the same as they were, but then again, nothing last forever. The past, no matter how good or bad, was not intended to last forever. Time moves on and so do we.